why do you have to lie to me?
you think its fun?
your so selfish!
you think what you do is good for me?

i don't know what to say about you ..
sometimes i really hate you
keep telling me to forget you
saying that it would be better for me
but you know how i think and feel?
you don't .
if i'm a machine i will just press a button to erase all of you.
but i'm not

i really hate you
you keep pushing me away if i'm talking to another guy..
what kind of friend you are ..
i really don't know and i don't
wanna know ..
really..
i'm too tired to say anymore
stop saying sorry again and again.
please..
i'm tired of it

O level is around the corner!!! AHH Still got lots to catch up!! Sighs .. O level coming, many problems arises in my life. I really want to escape reality..But its just circumstances..It will not last long..ARGH.. i'm tired..



Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight


So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark
I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark
I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

Now N256 got 5 new people but Darren, Dennis and Christopher had transferred out =( WILL MISS THEM!! But Meng Ching came back!! When i first came to CHC she is in my 1St Cell Group! (: Ate whole meal bread during fellowship plus CHEESE+HAM+TOMATO+CUCUMBER+TUNA =D It was really a fufilling meal hahas ^^. And i ate lots of grapes =) VERY HEALTHY RIGHT hahas!

Yeapps! Then studied at Mac Cafe and saw loyang people there like Chirstopher, Si Yun, Rachel.L, Marcus, Ren Yi and dunno who. Ahh i really have stm lahs . My class one the guy .. CAN'T REMEMBER!! =.= Then I saw YiLing again!! hahas Mac Cafe now the rules like so strict le. 1) Study on weekends for too long not allowed. Customers complained many people LIKE ME occupying the place. (So they chased me out -.-) 2) No outside food allowed. Either Mac Cafe drinks or Mc Donalds. ( WAHH where got fair!! Last time we brought SUBWAY, KFC, FOODCOURT FOODS, BUBBLE TEA they never complained. Now they say cannot.) Later no students want to go there study arhs ! LOL But can understand lah. They have to obey what the boss say mahs hahas (: .

I really loved the chocolates that Jolynn and i bought it at guardian. And i just bought it again hahas! Chocolates are yummy! Especially dark chocolate or 63% chocolate. Not those chocolate that is soo milky.

Yeah so thats all for today! Peace!!

Yay!! Today mugged from 2pm to 11pm with Jolynn=D! Can't believe thay Jolynn knocked her head at the Mac cafe sign 7 times!! OMG ahaha. Joshua also!! Wanted to tell him be careful but i haven't say finish yet he kena!! LOL SO FUNNY!!

I studied Physics and Maths today! hahas Quite fruitful (: . Then Jolynn shared her problems with me and we enjoyed ourselves. Came back home was about 11.50pm going to 12am haha.

Ahh getting tired every time during lessons and at home :( My chinese got C5 again. SAD! I'm so scared of O's lahs ..

Happy children's day to me LOL . I'm getting lame.

HEYO ! Im blogging again hahas =D Today spent lots of time studying chem and physics and i realised that mugging outside is better than at home!! So many temptations .. =( Friday i mugged with YiLing at tampines Mc Donald near interchange then she went home at 9.30pm and i continued studying until about 10 plus. RACHEL LEONGAND WENDY CAME TO MC DONALD TO MUG TOO!! Last time i at downtown mc cafe mug they also there =.= . Soon, Mc Donald was so damm crowded and the auntie wanted to chase us out. x.x Rachel, Wendy and me then shifted to tampines mart to study until about 12.30am. We talked alot od stuff and soon Wendy's and Rachel's friends came. After sometime i realised that one of them is actually BARRY . =.= I can't really tell lor. Last year he graduate then now his hair is reborn one. hahas. After that i walked home all the way. Soo kool LOL =D

Anyway im tired today . It's been a long time since i spent in my home the whole day hahas (:
After listening hillsong's new album saviour king i find that the songs were really good!! Kept playing again and again. Waiting to sing one of their songs during church C= !

Just wondering what did i say that hurt my friend. Suddenly he turned so cold towards me. Well, i guess i should shut my mouth. Anyway today was quite a tiring day..

Life is full of ups and downs
Sometimes I'm so sick of my life
and remain still like a stone

Don't wanna move on
don't wanna get up

What's wrong with me?
I don't understand me

Maybe i should just lay on a green pasture of grass
looking up to the sky
waiting for God to take me away

Today service was quite good . I kept cying and tears kept rolling down my cheeks. Truly God is always with me. No matter how down, how empty, how lost and how sad, He's always there. Yes he is! I want to stick with God no matter what circumstances i may be in. I want to run the race with God to the finish line! I want to love him and know him better! I want to live for him, carry up my cross once again. I've rest enough! JESUS I LOVE YOU!! You're always faithful and truthful to me, my best friend forever. Cant wait to be in heaven with JESUS (:! He's the only way, the truth and the light. With him, i can then be who i am in Him. The presence i've felt today really totally know that he love me unconditional. The love that really can't be described. Very deep.. It can't be measured.


And just wanna share a song by Corrinne May to all my brother and sisters in Chirst! (:
YOU CAN BE WITNESS FOR HIM ! This song is to encourage us to so unbelievable things for chirst! You're a beautiful seed that is precious to him! Click until number 5 on the playlist!

You can fill the darkness

with just one flash of light

Break the silence with just one word

One defiance starts a revolution

One life can save the world

On the steps of Washington

Sprinkled like confetti

Thousands of people sing"we will overcome"

The preacher shouts:"Let freedom ring"

He gave his life for what he believed

You can be a withness

You can be a prophet

You can make the whole world believe

Break the strongest fortress

change the way the world thinks

You can build a bridge where foes can meet

Hope for the future

Shout it, don't whisper

Dreams are what we make them to be

There's hope in every heartbeat

Tiny as it seems

You're a beautiful seed

She's a pastor's daughter

She's only 16

But her heart and belly

are beaking at the seams

Her boyfriend blames her

He wants to pay

for the doctor to wash it away

She lays in the hospital

A Christmas choir is singing

About a child in a manger

fragile and small

"unto us is born a Saviour"

She looks at her baby and cries

as she sings him a lullaby

You can be a withness

You can be a prophet

You can make the whole world believe

Break the strongest fortress

change the way the world thinks

You can build a bridge where

foes can meet

Hope for the future

Shout it, don't whisper

Dreams are what we make them to be

There's hope in every heartbeat

Tiny as it seems

You're a beautiful seed

Every hope, every power

lies in the heart if a seed that flowers

Intertwined all across the land

we're all seeds in the maker's hands

Today had cell group meeting with W351 . Yeah love the food !! Ate quite lot! Gave Boon Ming the present. After the whole thing, i went to DownTown East mc cafe to study . Was listeining to my mp3 and suddenly memories came back. Thinking about the old times and got rather down.
When I arrived, Yu Shan, Grace, Rachel, Wendy, Yiling and her friends at the cafe . Then later Kok Hao, Nizham, Kharudin and Hafiz came in.

I so lost. I'm walking aimlessly through a path of nowhere. The fervent love of God seems to fade away. Busy doing about my stuff and never really spend time with God. Is that really what i want?

And a friendship that i had just found is going to end. Just because of what he said and i feel scared and wanted to avoid him . Used to share lots of stuff . Yeah .. Everyday the friendship between both of us seems to fade bit by bit . Soon..it may disappear ..

A little boy of thirteen

was on his way to school

He heard a crowd of people laughing

and he went to take a look

Thousands were listening

to the stories of one man

He spoke with such wisdom,

even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly

the day turned to night

Everyone was hungry

but there was no food in sight

The boy looked in his lunchbox

at the little that he had

He wasn't sure what good it'd do

there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus

the kindness in His smile

and the boy cried out

with the trust of a child

he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes

Do with it as you willI surrender

Take my fears and inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all

to feed them all"

I often think about that boy

when I'm feeling small

and I worry that the work I do

means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry

is a diamond in His hands

and every door that slams in my face

I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have

Oh Lord, you can work miracles

All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes

Do with it as you will

I surrender

Take my fears and inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all

I hope it's not too small

I trust in you

I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes

Do with it as you will

I surrender

Take my fears and inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all

no gift is too small

I found that this is very touching song. I promise, if you are a christian, you will be reminded something after you hear this song.

I cant believe my maths failed . I've done lots of tys questions !! Maybe i stiil need to do many more. yeahs .. Haish today my stomach soo damm pain!! Halfway in tuition doin maths then cannot take it! So i rest and my teacher sent me home . Sighs .. Lots of things gotta do

Today history paper very hard. I studied Russia and Pacific in War never come out!! =( Then essay die liao luh. The best thing is that yesterday night then found out that today have maths paper 1 =.-" .. WHY AM I SOO BLUR?? o.o" Tomorrow have 3 PAPERS!! Physics Paper 2, POA paper 1 and Chemistry Paper 2 !! Aww today im gonna sleep very late . Sighs

Yoo! Today cell group meeting was a very good one. Jin Lian prophesy to each and every one of us. Indeed we must grow into a deeper relationship with God just like a tree which its roots grew deeper into the ground to get minerals so that it can grow taller n greener . Just like when you see the tree, you can see that it is harvesting . (:

Friday went to Yi ling's house study from 8 to 12am den go Jolynn house. I ate 2 drumsticks , magie mee, and 2 cups of milk for supper then started studying about 2am to 5 am. Very hiong hors hahas . Then woke up 12pm lehs. Supposed to wake up at 9am then cannot tahan and sleep again . Sighs! hahas



ahhh and I just found out that Vanessa anne Hudgens took a nude photo of herself!!
It wast reported today's newpaper. HOW CAN IT BE. My favourite singer and actor of HSM1&2!! So sadd and disapointed!! =(

booohoo . Tmr all the way study :( My cg members catching a movie tomorrow luh and the BEST THING is that i cannot make it :'( Sooo sad .. HAISH All because of TUITION. But nevermind la . Will be mugging with YiLing at starbucks (bugis there) then head back to tampines for tuition . I LOVE TO STUDY!! ^^ lol ( like real)

Heya!! Today after POA tutorial went to WS with Joel. Yeapps=D We ate KFC then went to buy sliky girl sliver eye liner (: [Wanted to buy for long ago] The went popular to buy pen LOL . We shop shop finished then head to interchange then we head back to WS lol!! Cos we forgot that we have to do POA question so we head to MC CAFE =D . We do half way then the aunty come say go up study here people want to eat =.= . Buy mocha do poa until 5 + then... CONTIUNED SHOPPING!! hehe

(:

Whoo! Today I I have finished watching High School Musical 2 on YOU TUBE! Love when Gabriella and Troy sing together cos their voice matched together (: I wish i had the song album !! HSM2 is worth watching kays !! =D

Today is English prelims ! I think i wrote out of point luh! . The question like about a person who tried to change his or her bad habit but turn out into a blessing in disguise. I wrote being quiet is a bad habit =x . That time it was like 9.00am and I left 45 min so i panicked and can't think! @@ Lucky i managed to finish everything (: Paper 2 was quite ok..ahh hope can pass my english paper!!

After school Joel and I went to foyer to study. We study until 5.45pm then go home. WHOO it was a worth time studying man..lol Hope tomorrow Joel can go out.. bYe!!

Woah today PE arhs we played in the muddy football field and some of the boys slipped and fell unto the muddy ground. It was like so funny cause got free entertainment =D English prelims tomorrow le . Jia You 4e2 people! ^^ And friday studying with Joel at downtown mc cafe luh! We not going to the lame road race on teacher's day. Its like deprive me from having a good sleep LOL! Mugging Rocks (: That's all for today!

BOO! Its been a long time i've ever blog! Ok here it is . Well reason for not blogging for long is i've no mood to blog . ahha! Today I have a good talk with Joel . Yeaps ! Joel don't worry. You have a friend like me to share your problems too (: Yesterday church service was very good. Learnt not to be too judgeful of others (: Well School was still the same .

Here's a song or poem that i wrote today !
Sitting alone in the classroom
Looking at the people around me
Desprate are the souls crying out for help
They're finding something to satisfy their life
Day after day
They seems to be doing the same thing in their life
Trying to seek something but to no avail
I tried to reach out and stretch my hand towards them
But they refused what I've got to offer

Why can't they open their eyes to see
Someone who is waiting for them
Someone who is trying to enter into your life
And turn every single troubles, sadness into joy

He is knocking at the door of your heart
And said:" I love you. I'm here to give you a sense of meaning of life. I'm here to set you free from all you troubles thats troubling you. I've seen your tears flowing down your cheeks as you cried for help. Would you let me in to heal all your brokeness and let me be with you? I love you my dear. I'm here with you.. "
How many would actually open their hearts?
Someone who love them dearly
Who even died for them and paid the price

He is calling out to you
Waiting for you to accept him
Every single day he is knocking at the door of your heart
And say " You are precious to me. Will you come back to me? "


Jesus loves you!

Yesterday went out with Jin Lian, Yuanting and her friend after chinese tutorial. We shopped around Vico then eat dinner together. After Yuanting and her friend went to take bus home, Jin Lian and I went to Habour Front Shopping Centre for toilet. We passed by DMK shoe shop then Jin Lian pointed out to me the Fushia Hot pick slippers that I wanted to buy at Century Square but don't have my size cause it was on sales. We went in to the shop and I asked the sales assistant whether they had size 37 and they did have! (: I on the spot bought the pink slippers for I've longed for the slippers since few months backed. Didn't know that I could buy that slippers. Thank God ^^ True that God knows what are my desires x) After that we went to Vico Mall again to look at secnery. Then we talked about how God is amazing for he created stars which can twinkle and the sea view. Then after that we went home and after i bathed i went to Jolynn's house to mug chinese till the next day. We ate Maggie Mee then coffee and egg + cheese. YUMMY. Cause we needed to eat in order not to get sleepy. Then we talked about lots of stuff while studying and we slept at four.

Next day Jolynn's mum cooked laska. Hmm her cooking very nice and talked about Yumin stuff hahas! By the time we went out of the house it was already 11 45 am. Jolynn was late for church and I'm late for cell group. I was supposed to be there early to help up in preparing the ingredients for sushi. Then suddenly, I recieved a call from attributes and they asked me to start serving next week. I'm shocked as i did not expected that they would want in bookstore ministry for since january interview. And I'm not prepared.. X.X

After Cell group meeting, I was soo pai seh as i gave offering then got one neoprint inside then Jin Lian said You want to give your neoprint as offering also arh. LOL ! Then we celebrated Abel and Brandon birthday. (: Dennis do the birthday card for Brandon soo funny sia. Put ice-cream sticks on it hahas! First time see his creativity hahas. Anyway the card looked simple and nice. (: I now know that my cell group don't know how to make sushi LOL. We wrap until like popiah like that then some fold in a wierd shape hahas!

(: